Dayna and Damon Friedman
As a combat veteran who deployed to and fought in Iraq and Afghanistan, I’ve heard the words “thank you for your service” more times than I can count. And while these five words are often spoken with genuine respect and gratitude, I’ve come to realize that, for many veterans, they aren’t as meaningful as they might seem. Why? Because they often lack the weight of understanding and action behind them.
I’m not here to discourage anyone from saying “thank you” to a veteran – it’s a gesture of respect and empathy that many of us appreciate. Moreover, the Bible encourages us to be thankful and express gratitude. But if we’re being honest, words alone don’t begin to capture the depth of what service to our country truly entails, nor do they offer the tangible support veterans need as we return home.
The values we cherish as Christians – serving others, showing gratitude, fostering unity and offering protection – are mirrored in the dedication and sacrifice of our veterans. If we as a nation are truly grateful, it’s time to move beyond words and start putting actions behind them.
The untold experiences of military service
To begin with, many Americans have little understanding of what military service, especially in a combat zone, really means. For those who haven’t experienced it, it’s easy to picture a service member in uniform, standing tall and proud, but it’s harder to imagine the unthinkable experiences that often come with that role. Think about the fear of not making it home to your family, the weight of losing a fellow soldier who’s become like a brother or sister or the responsibility of making split-second decisions with lives on the line.
Some veterans spent months in combat zones, constantly under the threat of injury or death. For me, it meant long stretches away from family, missing birthdays, holidays, anniversaries and the everyday moments most people take for granted. And when we finally come home? We aren’t the same. We carry wounds – some visible, many hidden.
The invisible wounds of war
The physical injuries are easy to recognize: the scars, the loss of a limb, the chronic pain from injuries sustained in battle. But the emotional and psychological toll can be just as severe. Many veterans struggle with PTSD, anxiety and depression after their service ends. And let’s not forget the stress of reintegrating into civilian life — finding a job after retirement, maintaining relationships or just learning how to live without the structure of the military. These are the unseen battles that so many veterans face every day.
Many returned home only to face a new enemy: suicidal thoughts that stemmed from the trauma they endured. Sadly, too many veterans are in that same battle. Despite their sacrifices, many receive inadequate support — emotionally, financially, spiritually or medically — from the very system meant to care for them.
What real gratitude looks like
So what can we do if we are truly grateful for the service and sacrifices of our military? It starts with education. If you want to express your gratitude, take the time to understand the reality of what veterans endure, both during and after service. It’s more than just waving a flag on Veterans Day – it’s learning about the hardships, the losses and the difficulties we face coming home.
But even more important than educating yourself is putting your faith into action. By volunteering, offering assistance and engaging in community service, we embody the teachings of Christ, showing veterans that their sacrifices are deeply valued.
This active expression of gratitude not only honors their service but also reflects our commitment to living out our faith in meaningful ways.
Here are a few additional ways you can truly show appreciation:
- Support pro-military and pro-veteran organizations that are making a difference. Some veterans receive inadequate benefits and support, especially those who weren’t officers or who served long, grueling deployments. Organizations like Shield of Faith Missions are doing meaningful work to combat veteran suicide and assist those transitioning back into civilian life. There are also nonprofits tackling homelessness and unemployment among veterans. These are the places where your contributions of time, money or advocacy can have a real impact.
- Pay attention to legislation. Our government makes decisions every day that affect veterans’ healthcare, benefits and overall well-being. Instead of passively offering thanks, actively support policies and reforms that will improve the lives of veterans. Advocate for better services and fair treatment, whether it’s improving the VA system or ensuring that veterans receive adequate mental health care.
- Help veterans navigate the red tape. The bureaucracy veterans face when they try to access their benefits is staggering. Offer to assist a veteran in your community with navigating the paperwork, advocating for their benefits or even just being a shoulder to lean on as they fight for what’s rightfully theirs.
Actions, Not Just Words
Finally, consider replacing “thank you for your service” with words that reflect a deeper understanding of the sacrifices veterans have made. Here are a few alternatives:
- “Thank you for putting your life and dreams on hold to serve our country.”
- “Thank you for the many sacrifices you made to serve our country.”
- “Thank you for choosing to serve our country when many others didn’t.”
And, most importantly, let your faith drive you to action and back those words up. The veterans in your life will appreciate that more than you can ever know.
Damon Friedman, a decorated veteran of combat in Iraq and Afghanistan, retired from the Air Force as a lieutenant colonel in special operations. He is the recipient of the Spirit of Hope Award from the Secretary of Defense, chairman of the Veterans Service Alliance and founder of SOF Missions, which works with veterans with PTSD.