It’s dangerous to go alone!” So says the classic line from the video game, “The Legend of Zelda.”
The person who says this line gives hero and main character Link a sword with which to continue his quest, as though the sword will be his companion along the way.
I wonder if sometimes we as pastors role play as Link. We charge out, sword in hand (the Bible, of course) ready to slay the dragon and build His church. We work hard and preach harder. We counsel and meet and console and pray—and we do it alone.
Or at least we feel alone.
I once left a bivocational youth ministry in part because of how alone I and my family felt. Ministry can be the epitome of “being lonely in a crowd.” And we all know God said, “It is not good for man to be alone.”
It’s worth noting that when God uttered those words, Adam enjoyed God’s presence and relationship. Justin Earley in Made for People makes the case that “you can be lonely with God.” In other words, God made you to need other people.
The enemy loves to make us feel alone.
Fear, pride, bitterness, jealousy, anger, and lust are all sins that thrive when we are isolated. If you need proof, just read what a lot of lonely people (and some lonely pastors) are posting on social media these days.
What my “you too” moments have convinced me about loneliness
Ministry can be an especially difficult place to form friendships. I think that is why it is important for us to put ourselves into places where we can meet and befriend other pastors.
I love how C.S. Lewis talks about the way a friendship begins in The Four Loves. He says friendship begins when someone says or feels something like, “What? You too? I thought I was the only one.” Friendship is born when we discover something in common with someone else that we believed to be our own unique treasure or burden.
In ministry, hearing that we are not the only ones who might be struggling or can’t figure out how to lead the church forward in its next step or simply celebrating with someone over a victory in the church is a healing balm and uniting force that can give us enduring power.
One thing I’m glad I did when I was Associate Pastor at Tremont Baptist was cold-calling other pastors (including second chair pastors) in the area and taking them to lunch or coffee. I had a lot of “you too!” moments that way.
Events like the Multiply IL Hubs this month and the Annual Meeting in November are great avenues to connect. It may be that the person you meet in the hallway or the conversation you have over dinner could be as beneficial to you as the scheduled programming.
As my pastor likes to point out, when we skip church services, we miss the benefit for ourselves and rob others of the blessing of our presence. When we check out of (or never get involved in) associational and network life, we are missing what God wants to do with us through the relationships we would have formed and taking from others the blessing our presence would bring to them.
This fall let’s waste some time on friendships. Remember, it’s dangerous to go alone. Take a friend with you.
Michael Awbrey is a Leadership Director on the IBSA Growth Team.